It’s totally amazing to me how many times I have heard the phrase “Micro-Managing” when I’ve heard employees speak about a supervisor, manager or even their co-workers! What is this “Micro-Managing” all about anyway?
In response to a recent LinkedIn conversation, Jane Barr of Kinnexion http://www.kinnexion.com/Index.html made the following quote (compliments of Paul and Layne Cutright) http://www.paulandlayne.com:
“Look for the Fear Behind Other People’s Attempts to Control You.”
Instead of getting irritated with someone who tries to control you, try to tell what form of fear motivates the behavior. If you can soothe those fears, the control will diminish. Yet you may have to rely on your own insight and intuition, because controllers seldom know the fears that motivate them…If you can discover the fear that drives them, you’ll be better able to respond with compassion instead of your own fear or anger. Defensiveness and anger tend to increase the fear of controllers, making them even more controlling, so trying to control a controller is a sure-fire formula for power struggle..begin by mastering your reaction to their behavior. Understanding, compassion, and self-control are the abilities you need to co-create with controlling people.”
So, basically – “seek to understand” – and – “manage your reactions”.
I liked this approach in attempting to manage the micro-manager as it felt like the ‘just and fair’ thing to do.
The unfortunate reality is that micro-managers can make a work environment become quite toxic…and…possibly; even attempting to understand and show compassion, your ability to change these toxic behaviours will not succeed because ultimately, the micro-manager believes s/he is the only one that can do anything properly.
What are your thoughts?